Friday, February 12, 2010

last night im at work
and i get this table of 4 dudes
in their late 20's early 30's
they sit down and one is just being a dick
keeps cutting me off
and demanding stuff
saying hes really hungry so just get on it
and bring two bottles of wine now
i go into the back and am writing up the order
and im all "fucking assholes, wtf blah blah"
my boss asks who?
table 7!
uhh do you know who that is?
thats father
our priest
father robert
so i laugh and apologize to my boss
and continue serving the table
they continue to get wasted
3 bottles of wine
shots of bourbon

at one point im go over to the table, and one of them says "so i bet you get this all the time, but do you handle the meat"

... im sorry? personally?

"yeah. how often do you handle the meat"

and im thinking... is this dirty or am i taking this the wrong way

cause it sounds dirty

and then the priest pipes in "what hes asking is if you like to pound the meat"

and im kinda just miffed... uhm im not sure what is going on here, but this is a little weird, no?

am i confused?

and then they just start ranting on about how often i pound the meat.

so i just sneak away, totally confused

i tell my bosses and they dont belive me

so i go back to the table a bit later

and the priest starts asking me for the shot with cervical fluid

and then the dirty jokes just start rolling

so i tell my bosses again... and the chef goes over to talk to him
and sure enough he's just going off on dirty rants and asking about girls at the bar
just wasted

it was so weird

then when they were paying, the priest was pulling out his credit card,
and his friend (i guess they were his highschool buddies)
tries to put money in
and the priest is all "keep it, go buy your fucking kids some diapers"
and the guy shoots back "fuck you father rob"
and then they suddenly stopped

looking at me... uhhh... youre not catholic are you?
and i reply. yeah no. im not.

the table was relieved

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